4 Weeks Left

Yesterday I started going through Dalton and Lyric's stuff. Throwing away junk, taking stuff they don't play with anymore to give away, and packing up the stuff they still play with. My sister met me and helped to decide what she actually wanted the kids to take with them. It was a hard thing to do but I handled it very well. I really didn't think about what I was doing so much as I need to get this done.

My sister packed up a lot of their stuff. I only kept a few things for them to have here until they finally leave. That is exactly four weeks away. We only have 2 weekends left with them. My mind is racing, constantly questioning and second guessing all that is happening. Should I let them go? Is this the best thing for them? Have I made the right impact on their life? Will they miss me? Will they understand? Will they be safe? What if this is the wrong thing to do?, what if I'm not there for them and they need me?, what if this is all a big mistake?

I cannot really wrap my mind around what is happening. I know this is real..... I know they will not be here to wake up in the morning....I know they will not tell me daily stories about the good and bad things that happened at school.....I know Lyric will not play hair and makeup with me at night.....I know Dalton will not read to me every day after school.....I know I will not be able to read, pray, and kiss them goodnight. I know all this but it hurts to much to really believe. It feels like we are just preparing for them to go on an extended visit somewhere and they will be back to stay. I don't know...only God does that's why I'm just trusting Him.

So we are trying to make the most of the last 2 weekends we have with Dalton and Lyric at home. Next Saturday we are taking them to Frontier City. It's a surprise! They have never been and we are really hoping for good weather. My mom is coming up to watch Samara so we can really enjoy the day with them. I'm so looking forward to this time. It reminds me of 2 summers ago when we took them to Disneyland. It was an awesome trip....one that we had hoped to take again with them. It may not be Disneyland but I'm sure we will make lots of special memories together again.